There wasn't any
sign of likeness...
sign of interest...
involvement of intimacy...
consistent interaction...

*Or was I slow?

After numerous of crushes and what nots, I try not to rush in things. Neither do I want to scare anyone away. Yet, I find myself losing all opportunities and chances.

*Yes, I'm slow.

It was till the "truth" was revealed to me, then I realise how dumb I was for not seizing the right chance and moment. Now that it is gone, I wish I can bang the wall and die. HA! (That's what I almost did at PLAY last night.)

What's the point of talking about all these, when I am already a step (or many steps) behind "other"?
Well, I'm not sure.

Honestly, I thought time was the most crucial element for both of us in handling our own issues. It is against my principles to "take advantage of other's situation". Apparently, it was me and my dumb principles again.

Frankly speaking, it's all about self-esteem and confidence. I may seem like a bubbly clown at times, trying to matchmake others and stuff. But it is a total different story, when I am one of the main lead in the picture. Through the checking-you-out sort of look and gazes, the individual can easily tell that the other party is (at least) a little interested in you. For me, I need more than just my 6th sense; assurance comes into place.

So girls, please come forward and say "hi". Don't be shy. HA!

Speaking of which, there is something I REALLY need to clarify.
Elizabeth Peh Sim Teng (Zay, Zabird, Birdie, Bird, Bird Bird, etc) is SINGLE!
Am I too nice to everyone around me that I seem to be "attached" to some people.
Yes, the keyword is "some people". So now what? Not only do I look like a sex toy, I look like someone with many many girlfriends? (ok, I was trying to make it sound nicer. I know la, I look like someone in an one-sided relationship. Oh great...

If I am ever attached to someone, I will DECLARE to the entire world. Thus, don't assume or guess and what nots. =)
______________

As usual, event at PLAY was BORING. But thanks to the bunch of lovely people, I did have some fun in a way or two. That's disregarding the post syndrome of vodka intake. Gosh... it was me and my dreadful drink. BLEAH! Finally, I CAN FEEL THAT POST ALCOHOL SYNDROME.

And with that, you can imagine little Zay Zay hugging the toilet bowl and dozing off on the edge of my favourite "ma-tong". HA!

I'm not sure if I should be happy about it. I do feel that I have lost some weight after all the crapping and vomitting. Great... HA! So much said, I guess my liver and everything inside are protesting and rioting.

Alrighty, I promise to be nice and not force "you-whatever-inside" to work overtime without pay. No more alcohol for the rest of the week!

And yea, I finally finished my pack! Great... so that means no more sticks for the timebeing. Or rather, I may start trying to quit it entirely.

Amazingly, I was able to wake up this morning! And I seem super awake!
WOOH! It felt as though I just had red bull or something. Oh wait, I did have some red bull last night. Thanks to that uncle, who sells all sort of drinks except chinese tea. FML!

p.s. Oh! And to Grace and her friends: Sorry that I was stuck in the dirty toilet for such a long time. HA! OOPS!
And to C Jie: Thanks for the tissue papers and comforting pats.

Ok, so I remember something else. In short, some straight guy wanted to get me and C Jie drunk. End of story... not going to elaborate. Why? Because the thought of him "surrounding" me with his arms and him carassing my back is $@#%#%#$%^. Alright, it is bad to bitch about others. End of story; full-stop.
_______________

Alright, that marks the end of part one of this entry. HA! I'm sure I am finishing this soon.

It was a pretty rough night (ok, I guess I am the only one, who will think of something else upon reading this) for me. First, it was the always-taking-forever issuing of salary session. Then, it was the there-is-something-wrong-with-my-pay session. And I had to rush down to Plaza Sing to collect my blazer. As usual, C Jie took FOREVER to reach (HA! Ok, she is going to murder me). So I had to fight the war alone.

I had a little drama at the boutique, but I decided to settle with whatever I was offered. Undoubtedly, they may be afraid to see me again. OOPS! So, my blazer still has this tail at the back. FML! Guess what the salesperson said... "The curl is nice and unique."
My reply was "Yea... totally unique. It is so unique that I don't see such curls on others' blazers. And it is so unique that it looks WEIRD."
*Shake head...

To C Jie: I guess we will never break that dumb curse.

We are always down on our luck whenever we hang out together. During the first time we met, there was this guy who collapsed at the entrance of AMK hub Cathay. Then, it was me drunk upon helping her to drink at Toca. Following which was Toca being pretty much empty on two other nights. Inbetween that was some dramas at Zirca, and after that was last night when she wasn't permitted to get in PLAY. Blah blah blah...

I must have faith! I'm sure we will be able to break that curse!
HA!
________________

Anyhow, I guess I will be stuck in the family business FOREVER! Dad had a serious talk with me last night. If not for the worker who walked in suddenly, he might continue to share more about his thoughts. It's not that I don't understand his point of view (I mean I am trained to do analysis, and hence I understand what he is driving at all along.). I just wish to do something which I like, and perhaps something which I may be better at.

I shared some of my thoughts with him too, but he simply refuted everything. And thus, we engaged in a PEACEFUL (for once) debate. Sensing his disappointment, I sort of soften down. If I'm not mistaken, he fought back his tears. In just one day, I experienced such rare moments with my dad. It is perhaps time to set aside whatever far-fetched dreams I have, and settle down in the current job.

BUT! *SIGH...
Oh wells...
*I have drawn enough circles in my book of life...

p.s. I am sure one fine day, I will be immune to "Nobody". But one thing for sure, I can finally mark a full-stop on our chapter. As mentioned previously, I may not be able to forget. However, I am leaving it as a history in my life.

I know this is going to be a little random, but did I ever mention that I prefer rainy days? Well, I'm saying it now. HA! BOO!

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*NAME*
Elizabeth Peh
*D.O.B*
19th April 1987

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